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Tag: Tinder

Tinder Ambiguity

A couple nights ago, I went to dinner with one of my closest friends in the city. Over a couple of amazing cocktails, we swapped stories of our current dating highs and lows. I shared my most recent dilemma with her: when meeting people through apps (especially on Tinder), it is really hard to know what someone is looking for. Rarely is it ever explicitly stated in a person’s profile, which makes every first date feel like some sort of psychological study; while chatting about our backgrounds, interests and lives in New York, I am constantly pulling for subtext. If he mentions an old girlfriend, does that mean he wants something more serious? If he picks a spot three blocks from his apartment, does that mean he’s only interested in the Netflix and chill part of the evening?

To be clear, I’m not looking for any sort of serious relationship right now, but I’m also not interested in a casual, one-time fling. I want to get to know someone to the point where I feel like I can trust them before anything physical happens; that’s just how I roll.

Sharing these thoughts with my friend, we realized we were in the same boat and came up with an interesting experiment. Rather than continuing to navigate this grey area, we decided to cut to the chase and see what happened. We each pulled out our phones, logged onto our respective apps (Bumble for her, Tinder for me), and typed the following to our most recent connections:

“Out of curiosity, what are you looking for on [name of app]?”

I blindly swiped right on at least twenty guys and asked them all the same question (maybe this will affect my Tinder karma… can someone tell me if Tinder karma exists and, if so, will I lose Super Likes because of this?)

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Vetted

Picture this: you are sitting at dinner with a guy you met on Tinder a couple days prior. On the app he introduced himself as Matt, gave you his number to text him, and his profile links out to his Instagram page. In the few days spent texting and making plans to meet up, you have also done a little bit of background research. It first started with a brief scroll through his recent Insta photos, then a quick Google search (just to make sure he’s not an escaped convict). Before you know it, you’ve got Matt figured out: you know he likes a good IPA from his photos (caption: “Grabbing a beer at Brooklyn Brewery!”), that he has questionable political leanings from his Twitter (RT @ScottWalker: “The founders did not declare their independence from one big government only to create another” http://sw.gop/z -STAFF #FourthofJuly”) and that he has decent (but not entirely groundbreaking) taste in music from his Spotify (Mumford & Sons new album most recently played, really!?). Now, you’re sitting across from him; it’s at this point you’re supposed to start getting to know Matt, but your perception is clouded.

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