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“Where are you from?”

A common question we get asked that I often have a hard time answering. My response is always pretty long winded: I grew up in Texas, my family resides in Las Vegas now, I went to school in DC, and now I live in New York City. Sometimes this will lead to a follow up question of “so where is home for you?” And to be honest, I still haven’t figured it out. New York feels like the obvious choice, but I usually resort to an open-ended “Well home for me isn’t linked so much to places, but more to feelings, emotions and memories. Home is my mom’s cooking. It’s my herb garden. It’s my best friends from college. It’s breakfast tacos.” It can’t be defined in a clear cut, obvious way.

In a similar sense, another hard-to-answer question we often face: “So what’s the deal with you and [insert fling/hook up buddy/romantic interests name here]?”

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Distance

Despite not being in school anymore, this time of year surprisingly still feels like a new beginning. Though there are no major changes going on in my life right now (#blessed), some very close people in my life are going through changes and it’s been affecting me too. Some are starting college or graduate school, some are starting a new job, and some are taking on new roles (like fiancé and mother). Thanks to social media, I never miss anything. Although I’m eternally grateful that we have these technological capabilities because it makes my world feel smaller, there are also moments when I’m watching my brother’s graduation on FaceTime or taking a tour of my best friend’s new apartment on Skype that I can’t help but start to miss them more than I did before I called. It’s amazing, but frustrating because you’re so close but you’re not actually there. For me, it’s these important moments that I miss out on when I feel the distance the most.

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Timelines

Sunday afternoon, I sat in my bed trying to finish several blog posts I’d started earlier in the week. As excited as I had been initially to write these posts, not a drop of inspiration was helping me to finish them. Part of the reason I love writing for Island & Hills is because everything that gets published are ideas that inspire me, feel timely and relevant. So sitting around with a bad case of writer’s block, I was forced to do some soul searching; if planned parenthood, career advice, or dating trends weren’t getting me in the mood, what would?

Over the past several months, I have observed a pattern that I’ve been wanting to write about. I, along with some of my close friends, have gone through different life-altering events: falling out of love with a romantic partner, losing a friend or family member, etc. As a way of dealing with these significant, difficult milestones, we often rely on timelines. In the days and weeks following, these sorts of statements become all too common:

“In a month, I’d like to be able to start dating again.”

“In two months, I won’t let myself cry about it anymore.”

“In three weeks, I want to be able to see them and be fine.”

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