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Tag: New York City

Tinder Ambiguity

A couple nights ago, I went to dinner with one of my closest friends in the city. Over a couple of amazing cocktails, we swapped stories of our current dating highs and lows. I shared my most recent dilemma with her: when meeting people through apps (especially on Tinder), it is really hard to know what someone is looking for. Rarely is it ever explicitly stated in a person’s profile, which makes every first date feel like some sort of psychological study; while chatting about our backgrounds, interests and lives in New York, I am constantly pulling for subtext. If he mentions an old girlfriend, does that mean he wants something more serious? If he picks a spot three blocks from his apartment, does that mean he’s only interested in the Netflix and chill part of the evening?

To be clear, I’m not looking for any sort of serious relationship right now, but I’m also not interested in a casual, one-time fling. I want to get to know someone to the point where I feel like I can trust them before anything physical happens; that’s just how I roll.

Sharing these thoughts with my friend, we realized we were in the same boat and came up with an interesting experiment. Rather than continuing to navigate this grey area, we decided to cut to the chase and see what happened. We each pulled out our phones, logged onto our respective apps (Bumble for her, Tinder for me), and typed the following to our most recent connections:

“Out of curiosity, what are you looking for on [name of app]?”

I blindly swiped right on at least twenty guys and asked them all the same question (maybe this will affect my Tinder karma… can someone tell me if Tinder karma exists and, if so, will I lose Super Likes because of this?)

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I&H Spotlight: Locke Hughes

Meet Locke Hughes, 27, a Senior Editor at Greatist.com living in Manhattan. We picked her brain on how she turned her passion for health, fitness and journalism into a successful and fulfilling career.

locke_imgMaddie: What’s your day job and your responsibilities there?
Locke: I’m a senior editor at Greatist.com. We’re a health and wellness startup on a mission to help people think about health in a different way—namely, that healthy equals happy (no six-pack required). Our content is science-backed, expert-approved, and totally down-to-earth. You won’t find any talk about cleanses, crash diets, or soul-destroying workouts here (unless it’s to say how crazy they are). On a typical day, you’ll find me pitching new story ideas, assigning articles to freelancers, top editing articles, overseeing fitness photo shoots, and writing (the fun part!).

M: Tell me a little bit about your career trajectory. How did you end up as a Senior Editor at Greatist?
L: It’s probably a familiar story. After graduating from the University of Virginia with an English degree in 2010, I came to NYC, spent a month job searching while sleeping on a friend’s couch before I found a freelance position at O, The Oprah Magazine (and an apartment). Then I took another freelance role at Seventeen, and finally a legit job as an assistant to the editor-in-chief at Woman’s Day Magazine. After that (people move around a lot in the publishing world!) I moved to Shape to be an online assistant editor, where I eventually became the senior social media editor. Last year, my former boss from Shape approached me about coming to Greatist, where I am now. Moral of that story: Meet with anyone and everyone! I originally connected with my now-boss five years ago when I bought her a coffee when I first moved to NYC. I stayed in touch, and eventually she helped me get my job at Shape, then ended up hiring me at Greatist! You never know where a cup of coffee may take you.

magazines

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Fall Favorites: NYC

As a habitual planner and goal setter, one season ending and another beginning sends me into a spiral of reflection and thought. I’m the sort of person who wholeheartedly embraces January 1st and the ritual of making new years resolutions, often documenting them visually.

So of course, with all the “so long summer” Instagrams and back-to-school promos, the thoughts started flooding my mind: What do I want to make of my fall? What sort of goals should I set? What have I been wanting to do but putting off?

I am always performing a balancing act between present and planning. While I love making plans, I also have to constantly remind myself to enjoy what I have in the present moment. So I’ve reframed my questions; rather than focusing on the big picture life changes the moment the days start getting shorter, I thought about the beautiful, simple things I love about the fall season. Here is what I came up with:

fall_favorites

Just Have Fun

I have a pretty active imagination. Working in a creative field, this often works to my advantage. I love being a storyteller, someone who can dream up the crazy ideas and then make them happen. Unfortunately, this active imagination, paired with the Type-A side of my personality that loves to list and plan, does not do me any favors when it comes to dating.

Whether going out with someone I met IRL or online, if the first date goes well (e.g. an attraction, an initial curiosity, a “spark”), it’s at this point that my imagination/Type A combo starts to run amok. The rational part of me tries to keep my cool, keep my distance, keep my shit together; the insidious irrational part of me creeps in, making pro/con lists, trying to answer the “What ifs?”, making up stories when my mind least expects it. One minute I’m on the subway, figuring out what I’m going to make for dinner; the next, I’ve caught myself thinking about when/if I’m gonna see Justin Long again, and where we could go if we do see each other, and whether we should go to that new whiskey bar because he said he liked whiskey, but maybe it’ll be too loud and crowded…. You see where I’m going with this.

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Coast to Coast: Summer Bucket List

With two good months left of our favorite season, we want to do everything we can to make the most of our first real, post-grad summers in LA and NYC! We’ve compiled a bucket list of our must-do activities — feel free to copy our ideas and share some of your own:

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The Great Escape

Summer is the best and worst time to be a 20-something living in the city.

THE BEST:
  • spirits are generally higher during the summer (I dare you to find me a New Yorker who prefers the winter to the summer — I still have PTSD from my first gray, frigid, snow-laden winter in the city)
  • there is so much to do! Parks, BBQs, festivals, rooftops, beer gardens, you name it!
  • plenty of work holidays (Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, etc)
  • AND THE WORST:
  • it can be a money suck (a pattern I’ve noticed: happier friends = more alcohol consumption = more money spent)
  • sweaty bodies on the subway and the smell of hot garbage on the streets
  • plenty of work holidays… when your co-workers are vacationing to their summer homes, and you are vacationing to… your tiny apartment
  • While there are a lot of amazing things about New York City in the summertime, I’ve come to realize how important it is to leave every once in a while. Without these mini mental health breaks, I become stressed and strung out; I didn’t know how restorative it could be until I was in the middle of some woods, smelling fresh air again. The challenge? Finding a way to “vacation” without the cost of airfare, hotels, or house rentals.

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    To Build a Home

    Home: it’s a word that means something a little different to everyone. Sometimes it can be linked to a smell or a taste. Maybe it’s where your family resides. Maybe you have multiple places you call home. There are dozens of songs written about it. Even if our own definitions are slightly different, we can probably agree: home is familiar, home is comfort, home is something we are all searching for if we don’t already have it.

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